Bertrum Buttock- Flamboyant owner/manager of the radio station and the Curtainsville Hilton
Betty Buttock - Wife of the owner. Flirty…domineering
Billy Buttock - Their son. Dweeb. Limp dishrag. A serious addictions problem
Richard N. Hancer- Gumshoe detective.
Sylvia Sweetlips- Incredulously, the wife of Ralphie. Lovely and dramatic
Arnie Armstrong - Pretty boy . Vain. Ambitious. Hot for Sylvia.
Elaina Alona - Girl singer. Hot for Arnie.
Lauren Alexicon- Gossip columnist for the local gazette
Chic Clark- Comic radio actor. Does character voices, skits, and commercials
Edna Eveready - Radio station secretary. Waiting in the wings for her chance to be a radio star. High school sweetheart of Billy.