Characters:
Patrice Peonies Puttermon
Executive Director of Peonies-Putterman inc., manufacturer and distributor of the Arena Buddy. A single parent, she is efficient and professional. But there might be a wild side lurking somewhere. Heir apparent to the Peonies fortune, she is an enthusiastic patron of the arts. Quite attractive. We sense that, in her past, she may have been a performer herself. She’s embarrassed by the pretentiousness of other family members.
Fiona Fellacia- A self-help Guru who met Whizzy two years ago in NYC at the East Coast Professional Urological Trade Sale & Show (PUTSS). Whizzy, who had been a PUTSS for 50 years, was in attendance to receive the PUTSS Penile Lifetime Achievement Award. As the Keynote speaker at the show, Fiona attracted Whizzy’s attention with her presentation entitled: The Positive Power of The Penis. Even in his advancing years, Whizzy became quite taken with Fiona...quite taken. Aware of the Peonies fortune, Fiona willingly “accommodated” his interest and she earned a special place in Whizzy’s world.
Paul Puttermon- Patrice’s son. College dropout. Reluctant and unsuccessful salesman in the family business. Longs for bigger and better things. A self-proclaimed Casanova who enjoys many three-cocktail business lunches. See’s the family’s theatre philanthropy as a waste of time and money.
Paula Puttermon- Patrice’s daughter. Her dream of being a rapper has been, so far, unfulfilled. Although she received a certificate of completion from rapper correspondence school, her YouTube videos have been less than viral.
Tony Tortalini
Artistic director of the Peonies Players. Lives for his craft. Easy going and good natured, but he knows his vision and works hard to deliver it. Although he’s very confident and personable in his theatre dealings, he’s quite inhibited when it comes to women.
Lacey Watson-Davies
Very dramatic in thought, word and deed. Has been an actress since childhood. Hates the word “diva.” Is on the downside of husband number five. Very experienced....and she’s also done a lot of acting. Flirtatious and promiscuous, she’s looking for one more great role and one more great roll.
Loretta Pollina
Shy Jersey girl (if there is such a thing). Taking some time off from East Bangor U. in order to enhance her theatre experience. Really loves the stage, but her timidity has held her back ...so far. Smart, but naive. Has never tasted wine.
Cory Kachinbutt
Costume and scenic designer for the Peonies Players. Totally “out” and quite flamboyant. Sensitive. Inseam specialist.
Billie Barrymore- Arrogant and narcissistic. A “theatre person” in the least complimentary sense of the term. Thinks he’s Olivier and Gielgud incarnate. Speaks in a deep put-on voice (of which he sometimes, inadvertently drops out ) Always calling his agent and going on professional auditions (without success.) Maintains a very high opinion of himself. Thinks he’s wasting his time with the Peonies Players, however he never seems to go away. Not “liked”...and definitely not “well liked.”
Haley Honeydo, Esq.- Whizzy’s of late lawyer and Fiona’s best friend. Her client list has been growing rapidly since her recent appearance on the website, Hooter’s Court.
Detective Dick Duntoquick- Peoniestown’s resident gumshoe.
Officer Happy Handcock-Junior grade Peoniestown detective.
Lieder Hozen- Host and a long time, well satisfied Arena Buddy customer
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