Characters:
Charles Hienay -- Self-centered, self-absorbed, self-indulgent community theatre actor. Conceited beyond belief, a psuedo-intellectual who is totally narcissistic. He is performing the role of Scrooge in this production of A Christmas Carol. In real life he is a divorce attorney.
Sissy Hienay-- Charles' oft-cheated-on wife. A drinking problem. Low self esteem. Does theatre for "quality time" with Charles. A taken-for-granted dishrag to Charles, but not stupid.
Herman Buttz- Flamboyant director of A Christmas Carol. Often lets his feminine side take over. Speaks with a pronounced lisp. Appreciates Charles' physical demeanor and presence, but despises his laziness, arrogance, and lack of inspiration.
Pricilla Puttmuncher---Costume mistress at the theatre . Flirtatious, personality plus. Divorced. Enjoys the creative opportunities she finds at the theatre. Also, enjoys the creative opportunities in measuring inseams. Has had a past relationship with Charles.
Art Shure-- Actor playing Cratchit in A Christmas Carol . Lacks all of Charles' charismatic qualities..... but a hard worker. Is employed at Big Depot by day. Has lost out on many roles to Charles over the years. Single. Lives alone. Sees himself as a martyr. Lots of self-pity. Secretly in love with Rebecca.
Rebecca Rose-- Innocent ingenue totally smitten with Charles. She plays Belle in A Christmas Carol.
Jonathon Avery- Serious minded actor. He plays Fred in A Christmas Carol. . Also in love with Rebecca .
Gloria Gazongas- Beautiful to look at, and a very nice person. Legally blond. Charles wants her replaced, because she's distracting. "Really, really, really wants to be actress." She plays many roles in A Christmas Carol..
Roger Ross - An audience member who is enticed into auditioning, when one of the cast members becomes suddenly indisposed.
Brenda Starr- Local reporter out to do a story on the upcoming production and particularly its star, with whom she is enchanted.
Tim Baylis- a state police homicide detective, playing Santa Claus at a PBA Christmas Party
Elf: Baylis' partner. Doesn't say much. Flirts with Hermann.
Host- A jovial connection between the reality of the audience and the fantasy of the show.
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